I recently found myself running into a brand new obstacle, which isn’t surprising. I feel like life has a way of always giving you more than you can handle, but just a little bit at a time. It wants you to get used to how bad everything sucks and begin to feel content and find a little bit of hope in your shitty situation right before it hits you over the head with a sledgehammer then laughs at you as you slowly bleed out, unconscious and paralyzed.
I was charged with a DUI 3 years ago. I know I shouldn’t have been driving after drinking. I learned my lesson. I REALLY learned my lesson. You would think I killed someone considering how much I have had to deal with as a result of that stupid decision 3 years ago. My driver’s license is STILL suspended. In order for me to get my license back, I need to pay $300 for the reinstatement, take an 8 hour driving class (~$100), obtain and maintain FR-44 insurance (~$300/month), and pay my court fines (~$1200). This is all after what I have already done: jail for 15 days, substance abuse classes twice a week for 16 weeks ($1800), hired a lawyer who obviously didn’t help ($2500). I can’t afford it right now, so I just survive without driving. I walk or Uber or get rides. It sucks but I do what I have to.
Well, there was recently a new law passed in order to “help” people get their licenses back without paying their court fines. Initially, this sounded great to me. It wouldn’t get my license back much quicker as I am unable to afford the other obligations at the time but at least it would make me owe less.
Much to my surprise, last week I received an email that my next paycheck and subsequent checks would be garnished 25% until my court fine debt is satisfied. So now they are FORCING me to pay the fines that I couldn’t afford before. I didn’t even have a court date or an opportunity to tell them that without that money, I can’t afford my rent.
I was already just barely making ends meet. I made just enough to cover rent. My electricity and phone bill are already behind. My daughter and I are living off of rice and grits…. but then life came and *SLEDGEHAMMER*
Now I’m helpless, unconscious and bleeding out slowly. I am picking up some extra shifts and asking around about side jobs. I signed up to start being a webcam model and start blogging. I’m not sure if any of it will help but I’m trying. I refuse to take it lying down. I have to keep fighting. I don’t want to be homeless again. Less than a year ago my daughter and I were living in a hotel and before that in my car. I don’t want to go back there. I refuse to go back there. I HAVE TO KEEP MY APARTMENT.
Anyway… that’s were I’m at currently. Trying to lift this fucking sledgehammer. Hopefully I can.